Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Can ringing in the ears be a sign of spiritual awakening?

I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How do I stop my 12-year-old daughter from crying herself to sleep? I have punished her and she still does it.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have a reading level above third grade

Why did Sumire's summoning Nue act strangely in response to Kawaki's karma?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why did Cartman love Heidi purely with heart, her being the first one he ever did, but then one day Butters tells him that all women are manipulative and then he began to believe that she was a bad person and pretended to be a victim?

I don’t cotton to rapists

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Woodruff departs rehab outing after taking liner to elbow - MLB.com

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Suspect in Boulder Molotov attack faces federal hate crime charge - Axios

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Nostalgic Tunes Trigger Stronger Urge to Dance Than Familiar Hits - Neuroscience News

I don’t buy bullshit

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Since the Brits can't steer their oil tanker, what makes them think they can take on Russia?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Mets and Dodgers are more than living up to heavyweight billing - New York Post

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Rocket Report: SpaceX’s 500th Falcon launch; why did UK’s Reaction Engines fail? - Ars Technica

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

The Labour Party wants to put the Winter fuel allowance and the £800,000 of gifts received by ministers behind us. Is this a real option for the people who will suffer as our new masters unapologeticly feast on freebies?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

After 6 new cases over the weekend, North Dakota has nation's highest measles rate - InForum

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y